With Mother’s Day right in our rear view, I’ve been thinking about what kind of an example I want to be to my daughters and what sort of attributes would be helpful for them to develop.
I want them to be confident in who they are. I want them to strive to be the best they can be, but also for them to feel at peace with their imperfections and embrace who they are today. I want them to act on the dreams and goals stirring in their hearts. I want them to cheer others on and lovingly support them.
These are the things I want for them, and they’re also things that I want for myself and for every woman on the planet!
We all want to be confident in who we are while also supporting other women, but often get caught up in comparison (thinking that she is further along in her career, a better mom, has a nicer house, etc.).
And while we know that this type of thinking is unhealthy, today’s world of picture-perfect squares on Instagram sometimes makes it difficult not to compare others’ best moments with our worst ones. Or worse – comparing past moments of our own lives that seem picture-perfect in hindsight, to a tough season we’re walking through in the present.
The good news? It’s possible to live beyond these feelings. Here are a few things that have helped me – I’m passing them along in hopes that they will serve you as well!
1. Live in the present, strive for the future and avoid dwelling on the past.
Whether we are longing to be a past version of ourselves that weighed 20 lbs less, had more energy, a better job, etc. or living in the shadows of a negative experience or poor choice from decades ago, the past can hold us back from experiencing the joy of the present and striving for a better life in the future. It can be tough to break free from either scenario. Some things that have helped me to live in the present while striving for a better tomorrow include prayer, talking through past experiences with trusted friends, and visualizing who I want to be in 10 years + writing out a roadmap to get there.
2. Don’t scroll.
Just don’t do it! It’s been proven that people are literally less happy after spending time on social media. If you must check in on the gram with certain friends or family members, schedule a half-hour once a week to directly visit the profiles of the people who you care the most about (no mindless scrolling allowed!). Like a few pictures, leave some comments…and be done with it.
3. Inspiration > comparison.
Instead of looking at someone’s wardrobe or home or whatever and feeling bad about your own, choose to be inspired by it! Inspiration can be a positive tool to effect change in our lives, whereas comparison leaves us feeling less than. This shift in thinking is a conscious choice and can be a helpful way to build towards a better you while remaining confident where you’re at.
4. Encourage and celebrate.
Get into the habit of celebrating the successes of friends, family, acquaintances, etc. This should go deeper than comments like, “Congrats on the baby!” or “Nice haircut!”. Think about why you’re proud of this person and all that went into whatever accomplishment it is that you’re celebrating.
So here’s what I’m challenging you to do. Reach out to someone you know (a friend, acquaintance, sister, mom, grandmother, co-worker, whoever!) and send a word of encouragement.
It could be something like, “Hey Samantha, congratulations on your promotion! I know how hard you’ve been working to get to this point and you’re going to crush it as Marketing Manager!” or “Hi Brittany, just wanted to send you some encouragement today. I know you’ve been running on little sleep and working so hard to support the twins, and you’re doing a great job! Your kids are lucky to have a mama who cares as much as you do!”
Getting into the habit of celebrating the women in your life will not only encourage them, but will give you a confidence boost as well.
Rooting you on today and every day!