After years of teaching self care practices + systems to tens of thousands of people, there are a few things I know for sure – and that I wish everyone would remember as they approach their own unique journey towards a consistent self care practice.
Here are the exact steps and proven tips I share with my clients + community and hope they empower you to live a vibrant, full life – in this season, and the ones to follow.
1. Start with self love
I often hear from the women that I work with that they have trouble finding the motivation or willpower to consistently practice self care. What I’ve learned is that this actually isn’t the case. A lack of consistency around self care is typically the result of two missing pieces: self love being the first, and systems/structures being the second (which I’ll discuss in #2).
Think about someone you love and care for. Maybe your kids or pets. Caring for them comes naturally, doesn’t it? It’s not willpower that drives you to bring them joy, nourish them, cuddle them… It’s LOVE. If we can love ourselves like we love others, willpower becomes unnecessary and self care flows out of you to nurture the innate goddess you are.
2. Knowledge without systems equals shame and guilt
I’m grateful that we live in a time where we have access to so much information, but what happens when we have knowledge with no system for taking action, is that we end up in more shame and guilt than when started. We know what we should be doing and we aren’t doing it which just feeds the negative self-talk cycle. Every single element of self care that I do throughout the day gets a box to be checked. Even the smallest things like brushing my teeth, letting the light in, and emptying the dishwasher has a checkbox each day where I get to celebrate my tiny victories.
3. Lasting change comes from empowerment
Here’s the facts: When we feel like we’re doing a good job at something, we want to do it again. We need to set ourselves up for success by committing to small, nearly fail-proof changes that we can consistently do daily. We call them micro habits.
4. Micro habits create macro changes
The secret to lasting change is to create transformation that works within your current life, that we can stay accountable (check a box), and that doesn’t feel overwhelming and ultimately, leads us to quit. Many of my clients are encouraged to start with 1-minute changes. 1 minute of journaling, 1 minute of stretching, a glass of water, making the bed, taking supplements, saying affirmations. I always tell them, set yourself up for success. Commit to 1 minute and when you do 5 or 10 or even 20, you’ll feel like a rockstar – and I’m willing to bet you’ll want to “play” again tomorrow.
5. You likely have your answers, you just aren’t creating space to listen
We are our greatest GPS system. We live in a culture that tells us to look everywhere outside of ourselves for answers and ignore that soft subtle whisper that gives us direction on how to live our fullest lives. Instead of seeking the opinions of others, trade that time in for meditation and journaling. Our answers are inside us, we just aren’t creating the space to listen.
6. We’re better together
Find friends you can commit to your goals with. Especially in this time of quarantine, having a structure for self care is critical. Making it even more fun by doing virtual workouts with friends, FaceTime meditations, or join me for one of my five weekly live Self Care Society classes. It’s 30 minutes of guided self care (like a fitness class for your soul and spirit) amidst a like-minded and uplifting community. Use the code “PRIMALLYPURE” for a free class!
For more pro self care support and proven tips for designing your fullest life, follow Danika on Instagram and visit her website! XO